Tardiness is socialism

This is it for the Romanian delegate.. He did not come to America to be delayed by communist carpool rules that demand that the timeliness of the group be sacrificed in waiting for the slowest of them to arrive. In his individualist America, it is every man for himself in the quest to arrive at work at precisely 8:00 in the morning.

This email went out on Thursday, 7/22:


Carpool members,

To pick Libyan, Caucasian and bTexas delegates up, in the morning, I have to be awake and leave my home with 15 to 20 minutes earlier. In addition to that, I have to stop, wait ( sometimes too long ), and start the engine one to four times, which increases my gas consumption, and sometimes my blood pressure, overall.
Libya, Caucasia, bTexas, no offense, but I realize that I need those 15 to 20 minutes ( willingly donated to you so far, for such a long time ) in the morning just for me.
So, staring tomorrow, I will not by picking you up anymore. I will not be parking my car in front of Libya's, or Caucasia's house when is their turn to drive, without blocking the driveway, mail delivery, or trash collection.
Will be educational and much better for all of us, to know that whoever is scheduled to drive, must leave Chain Restaurant for Truckers and the Elderly place at 7:30AM sharp, with or without scheduled passengers. This way we will avoid explanatory phone calls, and the possibility to be late. Is all about respect for us, and for our job.
It will not be necessary for you, as scheduler, to track all those miles adding more data to an already over-complicated equation. We all have to be grateful for your work, and make it as easier as possible with everyone's contribution.
I am sure everybody can be responsible for it's own time!
That being said, starting tomorrow, I'll meet you all at Chain Restaurant for Truckers and the Elderly prior to 7:30AM. I don't know about you, but I will be gone if the scheduled driver is not there at least two minutes prior to 7:30AM.

Thanks for your understanding.

Romanian Delegate


To be honest, a central meeting place makes more sense, even if half the UNC members are coming from the same neighborhood. It makes the carpool matrix significantly less complicated, and certain members are less than dependable. This was all agreed upon in the UNC when all members were present the next afternoon. Watches were even synchronized, in good humor, to make sure that no one missed the 2 minute window, and all went home for the weekend.


On Monday morning, sure enough, the Romanian and Libyan delegates were early to the Chain Restaurant for Truckers and the Elderly, and were shortly joined by the Vietnamese and PRL delegates. However, at 7:27 am, bTexas, the designated driver, had not shown up. As the fateful minute ticked by, the Romanian delegate readied himself for his exodus. The UNC had not discussed how to coordinate the driving if the original driver failed to appear on schedule, but this did not deter him. As his watch struck 7:28, he started up the Buick and drove off. In a feat of Lifetime made-for-TV-movie timing, he turned onto the highway just as bTexas’ minivan pulled into the parking lot. Obviously, our watches need to be synchronized to the second, not just the minute.

bTexas was not amused at this turn of events, and was committed to catching the Romanian delegate somewhere in the intervening 25 miles. After his third pass on the shoulder of a slow-moving semi truck, the PRL delegate closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep, so that her imminent death would remain a surprise until the last possible moment.

Unfortunately, the Romanian and bTexas delegates reside in another building, so the inevitable cold war went undocumented.